Things That Must Go – The Eight Inch Hooker/Drag Queen Shoe

It just seems like a trend will come out and at first it’s awesome, cute, and so clever, and then the masses get their hands on it and cheapen the experience. All of a sudden, you see seventeen versions of the thing and the market is saturated with it. It’s like an awesome song that gets overplayed so much that you hate it.

At five foot eight I am just medium tall. For whatever reason, the place that I grew up in was full of short people. I was at least three inches taller than all of my friends. My mother drilled into my head that being tall was burden (she’s five foot ten) and you should never be taller than your man. Having this drilled into my brain my whole life, and since the boys had not hit their growth spurts yet, I wore a lot of flat shoes and pencil heels in high school.

The first question I asked my future mother-in-law when she was trying to set me up with her son was “How tall is he?” He’s six two. I wore four inch Fluevogs when we got married. I love so much that I could be six feet tall and still be shorter than him. My wedding shoes are some of my most treasured things.

I never really embraced the high heel until after high school. My first boyfriend after I graduated was six foot one. It was like a whole new universe was being opened up to me!! Wearing heels made my feet look smaller! I could use my height to intimidate people! Being tall was an asset and I could be so much taller!! There are so many cute shoes out there! I went through this phase of dating taller and taller and taller guys. I topped out at six foot eight. It was so nice to feel small compared to them and to be able to be as tall as I wanna be. I love it when people meet me at work (especially men) as I’m sitting at my desk. As I stand to shake their hands, their heads go up, up and uuuuup. O, you’re a tall one! They say. Did you play basketball? Is another one I get a lot.

Like I said, I’m not that tall, but I am taller than average. My love for high heels increases my height by at least three inches making me five eleven so I guess if you take into consideration that I spend a good chunk of my time in tall shoes, I am rather tall.

Initially, three inch heels were considered really high, a stiletto, but now three inches is average. My four inch wedding heels were rare fifteen years ago, but now they’re the norm. At first, platforms on a pump would be an inch thick max, now they are one to two inches on average. I just bought a pair of wedge sandals that were five and a half inches high. I couldn’t find anything that didn’t have a platform that was cute. I’m not interested in wearing old lady sandals, but those seem to be the only ones that don’t have a two inch platform. I’m also not interested in being over six feet tall. It’s bad enough that I tower over half the people I know, I don’t have to tower over the rest of them. I don’t really want to look like a drag queen.

It’s all fine and good for these five foot nothing reality television “stars” to wear these enormous spiky platform-y “open for business” shoes, but now they’ve become so popular, that it’s hard to find a flat. Have you ever seen a pair of those shoes in a nine or ten? They look like they were made for men who like to look pretty.

My favourite is when I see pregnant moms with their toddlers in tow at church in five inch patent leather spike heeled peep toe platforms. Sorry, sister, but your knee length skirt and modest cleavage covering camisole under your low cut blouse does not cancel out your street-walker shoes. I can’t judge – all my shoes look like that too, I’m just not pregnant and don’t have to carry around a diaper bag any more.

The first time I went to a drag show I commented to my friend afterwards about how much fun it was and how ‘the gays’ were so friendly and personable and how I had never been touched so much or asked to dance so many times in a straight club. You know what he told me? “Well, there were a lot of convincing looking females here tonight, perhaps they were trying to determine if you were real or not.” Nice. Thanks. Idonotlooklikeadragqueen.

Let’s tone it down, people. The tall girls need something to wear that doesn’t make them hit their head on the doorway. What’s next? Real stilts?

Polka Dot

You should see my toes!

After cruising websites like Nailasaurus and Julep and following Glo Nails, Lucky Nails, and The Beauty Dept on Pinterest and seeing so many fun tutorials on nail art, I decided to buy a toy and experiment.

I bought  a dotting tool that has a brush on the other end at Sally Beauty Supply. It was five bucks and totally worth it. It took me some time to get the hang of it, but I can't wait to play some more!!

The index finger kind of looks like I have the measles, but I love the rest.

I'm wearing Essie Limoscene for a base. The dots are Essie Licorice and Julep January.

Love, love, love this new toy!!

Things That Must Go – The Accent Nail

The great thing about fashion is that there are usually so many trends out there that one can pick and choose which trends they would like to follow. Everyone has different style, but there always seems to be something for everyone out there.

I have never been a slave to fashion, but a lover of what’s new now, what’s hot, what’s happening, (what’s ‘the latest’ as my mother would say, guaranteeing an eyeroll from me). I like to observe what’s happening in fashion right now and pick and choose the trends that I will add to my style pallet.

I hate wasting money, so my style is mostly classical and traditional, but I don’t fear the funky and trendy. I hate the thought of having to get rid of something after six months because it’s so out of style. That seems like such a waste to me. I like to buy things that will last forever. I have letting go issues when it comes to clothes.

As I am an observer of fashion, I often come across a trend where I think, “O, that’s clever” but then I see it EVERYWHERE and it drives me crazy because it becomes so overdone. Because of this, I have added a “Things That Must Go” section to the blog.

My first thing is the accent nail. This is when your manicure is all one colour with the exception of one nail, usually the ring finger, which is painted a different colour. The first few times I saw it, I thought it was awesome and cute, but now it’s everywhere!! At first it was tastefully done: a french manicure with a green tip on the ring finger for St. Patrick’s Day, or fireworks on the thumb for Independence Day. Now I just cringe every time I see it.

I read an article where men were commenting on fashion and they said that it looked like you were too lazy to do your whole hand. I could not agree more. To me it just looks tacky and overdone and like you missed the rest of your hand. While I see the point that having all five fingers in a Gingham pattern or sparkled out like crazy can be distracting and look a little much so it’s fun to have just one nail done, but the rest of the nails need to coordinate so that the one nail doesn’t stick out so much.

This just goes to prove that you can rock a trend and make it look great, or you can miss the mark completely and look like a clown.

No more accent nails! I’m bored already.

Penguin Shoes

So. I told you about the Polyvore and I told you about the new shoes.

Here is the story about how Polyvore made me get the new shoes.

Right after I joined Polyvore, I was workin’ a set and putting together a black and white outfit (black and white is my favourite) when I did a search for Spectator pumps and these babies popped up.

OOOOOh! Those are cute! I thought.

So cute, in fact, that I thought and thought and thought about them. Then I dreamed about them and then I thought some more. I am familiar with the brand as I have two pair of shoes from the same brand and they are well made and affordable. Oh my GOSH did I think about those shoes and how cute they were and how much I loved them and how I would wear them every day and they were only $60.00, so I could justify the price and….

Well let’s just say that I could not stop thinking about those shoes and how cute they were.

A brief history of not buying something that I can’t get out of my head:

A long time ago, I saw the perfect white ballet flats. They had no heel whatsoever. There were no embellishments. They had a slightly pointy toe which fits with my pointy feet perfectly. They would have gone with everything. I had just bought a pair of shoes and had no more babysitting money, so I didn’t buy them. Years went by. I looked and looked and looked for white flats and could not find any that fit the bill. Either they had a weird heel or a dumb bow or there was no toe room. The main reason why no other shoes would do was because I had seen the perfect ones and couldn’t get the idea of the perfect shoes out of my head and nothing compared. I finally found a pair of Fluevogs that were perfect. I wore the heck out of them, befriended a cobbler, had them re-made, and wore the heck out of them again. I threw them out when I got married and moved from Canada to Salt Lake City and have regretted it ever since. To this day I have not found another pair of perfect flats and do not possess a pair.

What have we learned? That if you see something you LOVE, not like, but LOVE, you should get it. You should save up your money and think about it and if you can’t get it out of your head, then you should get it before it’s gone and you can never have it and it haunts you for the rest of your life.

I have similar regret with a pair of charcoal grey flannel pumps I saw at the Nordstrom Rack in 1998 and a pair of black and white houndstooth pumps I saw at Famous Footwear three years ago.

I always find what I’m looking for when I’m not looking for anything which is why I found these shoes. Seeing that I suffer from non-buyer’s remorse, I try to have a little extra tucked away for moments like this. Since I had thought of the shoes non-stop since I saw them, they would go with everything I own, and I LOVED them, I bought them. I had read the reviews saying that you need to go up a size, and since I already own two pairs of shoes made by the same company and they are super duper tight, I ordered a size ten and with the exception of some toe pinching on the left foot (which is normal for me when breaking in new shoes), they fit perfectly. I am VERY glad I went a size up. (going a size up is very hard for me because I already hate my feet, so admitting that they are also giant feet makes me very sad and want to crawl into a hole and die.)

I’ve had them two weeks and worn them three times already. Since I can’t wear my suede Steve Maddens in summer, these are my new New Favourites.

When dancing around the house with them on my feet, in my hands, on my head, and showing them to all the males in my house including the dog and forcing them to tell me how cute they were, the consensus of their opinions came down to this: they look like penguins.

You see why I have a blog? No one in my house appreciates me so I have to turn to the internet for validation.

White Manicure

Remember when we were in Grade seven and would paint our fingernails with Liquid Paper? Remember how goopy and gross it would look? Remember how we would do it on purpose so that our fingers would glow in the black light at the school dance?

Enter the White Manicure.

O.P.I. Alpine Snow

I had purchased Essie Limoscene thinking it was the perfect Ivory colour that I was looking for, but naive me, didn't look closely enough to the consisitency of the colour. It's sheer, not opaque. I was looking for opaque.

I'm wearing Limoscene in this pic

I just happened to be cruising the nail polish aisle at Smith's the other day and saw this one and paid attention to the consistency of the liquid to ensure it's opaqueness. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, just looking to see if something would jump out at me, the most successful way for me to shop, and this one jumped out at me. It must have been a return, because it was the only one there.

This is opaque, but the consistency of the polish is too thick. It goes on goopy and stripy and I. Am. Not. Happy. I look at my hands all day long as they are right in front of me, so when I have an imperfect manicure it bugs me. I tried shaking the heck out of the bottle thinking that maybe it had just been sitting too long or something, and trying again, but no luck. I'm afraid to try using nail polish remover to thin it out because I don't want to wreck it. I have faith though - I'm thinking that if I try another time that it will work out.

I really like the colour, and it's exactly what I was looking for and I'm usually not this disappointed in O.P.I. products, so I will keep trying to make it work. Worst case scenario I will have to use it only for daisys and polka dots, which is what I bought it for any way.

Sally Hansen Acrylic top coat, Alpine Snow, Pro FX base coat

Polyvore

Polyvore is a website that lets you put outfits together. It’s fun, check it out.

I’ve known about it for some time, but was never quite able to figure it out until recently. Now I love it. It’s like playing paper dolls, but with clothes that have links to where to buy them!

I’m not much of an accessorizer (yes I made up a word), but with unlimited access to any kind of accessory that I can think of, I can accessorize the heck out of an outfit. I now can see why I wear the same accessories over and over. If I price out an outfit, sometimes the cost of the accessories can double the cost of the outfit! (or more, depending on the shoes and the bag) Plus, takes time.

The plus side:

1)      It has inspired me to sew. One of the things that I hate about shopping is that I have a hard time justifying the cost of some things because I know that I can make them for a fraction of the price.

2)      It has inspired me to design. I see a thing that I like, but the sleeve’s wrong, or there’s a detail that I’m not in love with, so I can use the thing as inspiration.

3)      It has inspired me to draft. Last Halloween I declared that we were no longer buying costumes; my mum and I made all my Halloween costumes and DH’s mum made all of his. I can make much better/cooler/more creative costumes. I bought a pattern drafting book to replace my textbook from college that I lost years ago, but had not used it. I dusted it off and made a new pattern block from scratch for myself since my body has changed considerably in the twenty-two years since college. I love drafting and making patterns. The measuring and the cutting and the truing… it’s all so soothing to my brain. I have my island in my kitchen cleared off, so it’s high enough that I don’t kill my back when making patterns.

4)      It inspires me to get my chores done so that I have time to play.

5)      I have discovered endless.com which is the fashion arm of amazon.com. They have the cutest stuff that I can’t make for myself and the prices are reasonable.

6)      I have discovered other sites with cute and fun stuff that I can save my pennies for and add to the things that I love.

7)      It’s like Pinterest where I can put together ensembles that I have floating around in my head. I can save them on Polyvore and refer to them when I’m ready to shop.

The down side:

1)      It makes me sad that I don’t have time to shop for fabric or sew or make patterns.

2)      It makes me want to spend money

3)      It makes me want to have all these outfits NOW.

4)      It makes me spend money because I. CAN’T. GET. THOSE. SHOES. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD!

5)      Needs and wants have become skewed.

6)      I hate all my current clothes and want my Polyvore closet!!

Overall, it’s a fun place to play and experiment with new looks and I really enjoy it. Here is a sample of a set I created on Polyvore. Try it out!