Things that must go – Mustaches

I’m done with mustaches.

Not the ones on men’s faces, and DEFINITELY not Movember, I love Movember and support it wholeheartedly.

I’m done with the ironic hipster mustaches on everything. T-shirts, mugs, necklaces, sunglasses, rings, cell phone covers…. Stop it!

I have decided that all the hipster twentysomethings are just getting to the point where they can actually grow a real looking mustache and so it’s a novelty. Remember the goatees and sideburns of the early nineties? I get it; you can finally grow real looking facial hair! And there are so many hilariously ironic awesome things you can do with a mustache! Like save things for later, but have you ever tried to kiss a guy with a mustache? Not ironic or funny or cool – it’s itchy and it tickles. Sometimes it makes you sneeze.

I know that Tom Selleck is the poster man for mustaches. I am SO on board with Tom Selleck, do not misunderstand me, but remember that episode of Friends where Chandler and Joey tried to grow mustaches? Yeah, not everyone can be Tom Selleck.

Thank. Goodness.

Growing a mustache is one thing, but decorating yourself with a mustache is another. It’s boring me. Quit it. You’re bugging me!

Except for the mustache finger tattoos where you can put your finger up to your lip to pretend you have a mustache. Those are funny